It’s not difficult to figure why the dish ran away with the spoon. They’d had enough.
Monday, after the second period of Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Final, NBC intermissions regular Mike Milbury reprised his playing days reputation for incivility, which likely originally appealed to NBC. Milbury was with Jon Hamm, the actor, St. Louis native and Blues fan.
With a thin smile, Milbury smugly praised Hamm for his role in a recent film with, “You were such an excellent scumbag in that movie.” Milbury had the look of a schoolyard vandal who’d just spray-painted a vulgarity on the handball wall.
Got that, kids? Scumbag. NHL finals. On NBC.
A few minutes later, the Stanley Cup Final returned to the distinguished, dignified voice and presence of Doc Emrick.
As for the NBA Finals, they’ve been hijacked by the boastful, attention-starved, dumpster-vulgar, front-row rapper Drake. He has made such a calculated spectacle of himself that NBA commissioner Adam Silver last week issued him a gentle chide — as opposed to curative action — of what Silver recognized as a “dangerous situation.”
Silver: “We certainly appreciate his superfan status. I know he’s beloved in the community of Toronto.
“[But] certainly we don’t want fans, friend or foe, contacting an NBA coach during a game. I think those can lead to dangerous situations. You’re in the middle of coaching a game and you’re completely focused. You obviously don’t want somebody not on your team touching you.”
But Drake, excessively self-entitled, continued to demonstrate that, even at 32, he’s too special to behave.
Reader Alex Burton suggested we transcribe one of “superfan” Drake’s Raptors’ cheerleading songs, “Started From The Bottom.” We’ll try:
“Started from the bottom now my whole team here, n—a. … Started from the bottom now the whole team f—in here. No new n—as, n—a we don’t feel that.” And on and on.
Given that Drake is an NBA “superfan beloved by the community of Toronto,” commissioner Silver would have no problem publicly reciting the lyrics, right?
But the world has gone selectively nuts, thus Silver wouldn’t touch such truths. He doesn’t want to offend the most offensive or risk being condemned as a racist, and more, for condemning the use of the worst racial slurs and lowest sexual degradations of women.
When 80-year-old Clippers owner Donald Sterling was recorded then betrayed by his 30-year-old “Take Me Shopping” girlfriend, revealing a racially charged but slur-free private chat, Silver led the outcry and action to have Sterling immediately deposed and disposed.
But Drake writes, records and sells far worse and Silver “certainly appreciates his superfan status.” Or is it that Silver feels he can’t expect better from some superfans?
And now team “owner” is plantation-era racist but “n—a,” depending on who says it, raps it, records it, sells it, is cowardly ignored.
It’s all a hey, diddle diddle. Certain indisputable truths, the kind that send us hurtling backwards, can’t be spoken, let alone acted upon. Utmost care and respect must be bestowed upon the abhorrent. The little dog laughed to see such sport and the dish ran away with the spoon.
Pros’ con job: A little effort might hurt
Automatic outs, automatic home runs:
Naturally, Gleyber Torres, a big leaguer, would never do that again. And if he didn’t get it by himself, Aaron Boone would take care of that.
On April 27 in San Francisco, Torres stood and watched his home run to deep left … hit the wall and ricochet into play. Torres momentarily appeared to be injured as he was thrown out sliding headfirst into third.
Older but wiser, Torres would never do that again … I jest, of course.
Saturday, with the Red Sox up 1-0, Torres hit one to deep right. He jogged toward first to get a good look at his not-even-close home run, which hit the base of the wall. He rounded first then returned.
On Fox, John Smoltz spoke the self-evident: Torres should have been at second — easily.
OK, we get that. But tell us this: Why at the highest skill and pay level has such minimalism become nearly standard? There’s no good reasons for it, only bad ones, so why? Why do Boone and most MLB managers indulge such carelessness?
Monday, five-time All-Star Andrew McCutchen was lost to the Phillies for the season with an ACL he wrecked in a rundown.
McCutchen was on first when Jean Segura popped to second. McCutcheon stayed near first in anticipation of the catch.
But Segura fell leaving the box then failed to rise and run, figuring he was an “automatic out.” Padres second baseman Ian Kinsler let the ball drop then threw to first for one out — had McCutcheon known Segura would quit he might’ve stayed on first — but McCutcheon was caught in a rundown caused by Segura’s early surrender.
The Game, stuck in self-inflicted but easily cured decay, continues to rot.
Could it be more obvious?
During Fox’s coverage of the Women’s U.S. Open, Joel Klatt interviewed Denmark’s Nanna Koerstz Madsen, who was 6-under. As many do, Klatt prefaced his question with the answer, telling her she has hit 45 of 54 greens, before asking, “What was the key to your round, today?”
“I have been hitting a lot of greens,” she said.
Second place: Tuesday, after Masahiro Tanaka allowed four runs in the fifth, David Cone on YES, explained: “He throws a lot of strikes.”
Bullpens, the mystery science reality novel, continued: Saturday’s Brewers-Bucs on FS1 was so saturated in needless pitching changes that there was three blown saves! Three!
More: Pittsburgh’s Clay Holmes was credited with a “hold” for allowing only two earned runs in exchange for retiring one batter. Milwaukee’s Jeremy Jeffress at least earned his fifth hold, allowing two earned runs in a full inning.
Not that I wish to enter the “Tom Terrific” tempest — not when I’m focused on Recycling Night — but the original was not Tom Seaver. It was a 1950s kids’ cartoon character. That Tom Terrific wore an oil funnel as his hat.